(“The Wounded Angel” by Hugo Simberg)

I’m not in the world. The world rubs me the wrong way. I’ll tell you the story of how I gave up on the world. I was nine going ten, and even though the world was not my oyster, I was going to work on becoming a pearl. I had the enthusiasm of the untainted youth which knows only one avenue in the end, that is to crash and burn. Mickey mouse was my hero, and Elisa my best friend. Friendships at that age are more valuable than gold; they are woven around little secrets, silly confessions, continual giggling, toys and games. Elisa, a sweet, plump little thing not only shared my likings but she also was my protector on the school ground. I was the scrawny kid no one likes; too quiet, unsmiling, and aloof to be cute. After school, Elisa and I would watch Mickey mouse on TV at my place. We were neighbors, and every morning we would walk together to school which was only a few minutes from where we lived. One morning, Elisa showed me a tiny puncture wound on her thumb; she said that Mickey mouse had bitten her while she was sleeping. The sneaky beast to avoid getting caught blew air as it bit her. However at that time I didn’t quite believe that Mickey mouse was capable of such treachery. Two mornings later, she stayed home seek, bedridden, and feverish. That day when I came back from school, she had been take to the hospital. A day later, she died and I have been learning all about sadness since.

Childhood sadness wears Elisa’s face, and for that I’ve let it linger. But it has got to stop. All this movement, all this noise closing on me like the grasp of a mother- never letting go. In my night dreams, I save her, I hold her hand and we run together, under my layered dream we run together and she is safe there. But then comes the dawn, lights filter through the curtains and I remember what it is and what cannot be.

By freakynewchild

Quote of the day: “What a life! True life is elsewhere. We are not in the world.” (Rimbaud)

Music of the day: Nina Simone-”If you knew”